I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
