if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
