tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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