idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
