He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
