Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
