I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
