Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
