remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
