The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
A bitchslap is in order.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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