No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
