i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
