So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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