i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
