He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
