Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
