Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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