im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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