i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Semen is not good for contacts.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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