i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize