so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
