Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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