i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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