look no pants
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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