I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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