Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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