There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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