Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
