it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
did i walk over a car last night?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
