I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
