Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
