Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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