We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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