I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
