At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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