I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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