i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize