I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
