Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
