i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
