You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
