I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
