for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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