stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
