I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
