One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
