Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
