My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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