He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
