Barsexuality is the new black.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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