Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
