I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All I want is dick and wine.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize