i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
