when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
