You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
