My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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