I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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